This week physical punishment of children became illegal in Wales. What do you think about that? Are you surprised it isn’t already a thing? Or are you from the ‘school of hard knocks’ thinking that a clip around the ear every once in a while never did you any harm?
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Perhaps for many of us, the odd smack didn’t cause any long-term effects. But for a lot of my anger management clients, the physical violence they went through, or witnessed, during childhood was damaging in many ways.
However, if they mention it, they usually speak about it quite breezily.
“Oh, it was the done thing back in those days”, they say.
The thing is though, just because it was common, doesn’t mean it’s right, or that it can’t have a lasting effect.
If our parents or caregivers show us on a regular basis that aggression is the normal response when someone isn’t doing what you want them to do, then that’s a really big message that it’s an acceptable way to be, and we may grow up feeling like we want to repeat this behaviour.
Of course these days it’s really not acceptable, so we can end up swallowing that anger in, and then it builds up and ‘leaks out’ in different situations. We might get road rage, punch a wall, scream at the kids, or throw our phone at the ground in frustration.
If you feel that your anger is leaking out in inappropriate ways, I can help. My private one-to-one anger management sessions are tailored just for you, to get you feeling calm and in control, whatever the situation.
And don’t worry, I won’t be getting you to dissect your past and analyse your childhood (unless you want to, of course). We can stay practical and focused on the present day, so that you can start to communicate your needs in a calm, measured way.
Get in touch below for more details.
Lisa Murphy is a counsellor and hypnotherapist based in Glasgow who specialises in anxiety, anger management, and weight loss.